Armegeddon is a small town in central florida........

I don't really know how to describe my life anymore without sounding like medical dictionary of  all things that rhyme with carcinoma.

I survived a double mastectomy and that wasn't really something that I would like to do again.
Much to my delight Angelina Jolie copied me...

Just as I though things were getting better - came the news that one of the lymph nodes sent to pathology came back with a tiny spot of cancer.  The cancer they removed was classed as highly aggressive. 

The next thing is to strip all of my lymph glands on the right side leaving horrible scars, possible loss of feeling and range of motion in my right arm and high likelihood of lymphedema.  I already have lost any feeling down to my elbow on the right side from the lymph glands they took this time.

With this surgery  - they will install a mediport for chemo and anything else they think to throw at me.  4 months of chemo will certainly save a lot of money on haircuts and highlighting.

And with all this - there is at least a 12 % chance of reoccurrence in 10 years. 

I wonder if I will ever run my dogs again, or see Clark and Emma again.  I wonder if I will still have a job when this is over, or even if I will be alive when this is over.  Maybe I will see RockIt and Fiesta soon, that can't be all bad.

The one thing that has made a difference to me, is the kindness and caring of my friends.  I have a card forest on my kitchen counter.  This has been just astounding to me.

 My dogs have been taken care of when I could not do it,  Gail started a prayer circle on FB, Candace came with food, Kat made a dog flower bouquet with pictures of all my dogs (see above picture), Sally has taken care of me by going through all my surgeries and bad news doctor appointments, Judy took care of my in her home, while taking care of 3 of my dogs at my house, Amanda made pink key chains which she sold to help with my medical bills and lots of my friends and even the breeder of the border collie that I had made a deposit on, but could not get because of my health ordered one.  Gabrielle is going to hold run thrus at her place and there is going to be a raffle at the Memorial day trial,  Charlotte sent a dozen roses and I am no doubt forgetting a lot more stuff.  I know that Sarah and Suzanne both offered to take Emma if she did not fit well with Kat's pack.  Kat has taken Emma and not just taken care of her, Kat said her husband is making a freestyle routine for her and she gets to play Frisbee twice a day - don't think she misses me much :). Clark is with Bob and is happily adjusting to being an only dog.

Having cancer is not a perspective that I consciously chose, but it has shown me how great and caring people can be when it really matters, and it really matters to me now. I never believed that if I reached out - someone would be there - but they were there before I even reached out!

If I survive this, it will be because of the prayers and positive thoughts of all these people who are my friends.  I wish I knew the right words to let them know how much it has changed things for me. 

They are definitely the bright spot in this particular ring of hell.